Dating for a month and a half
One group dieted in the manner we all know and hate: continuously, for 16 weeks.The other group cut back for two weeks, then broke from the diet for two weeks, eating to keep their weight stable rather than at a deficit. In our current high-supply sexual economy, sexual opportunity is everywhere, sexual restraint out of fashion, and love, the illusive Holy Grail, has a generation addicted to dating.In fact, western culture is obsessed with dating and mating.
The deck seems so stacked against real love and long-term exchanges of care that the data on what actually works in relationships jumped out at me.
Do the plethora of revolving dating partners and sex without dating help us find romantic partners that last more than a few weeks or months? I began my research on the state of our unions by looking at the growing number of early life attachment injuries that predispose adults to avoid or obsess over intimacy. Children of emotional neglect or abuse can grow up to become vigilant clock-watchers, obsessively reading texts like tea leaves, ever the ready to perceive a threat of abandonment, while others behave like skilled surgeons on a quest for no-love-attached sex, cleverly slicing into hearts until the genitals become available and then slipping out the door before the triage.
Knowing the underpinnings of relationship dysfunction was only the beginning.
There’s a greater chance you’ll fall in love While women can sometimes fall in love through sex because oxytocin, the female bonding hormone, is excreted in large doses during orgasm, men don’t fall in love through sex. While it’s wonderful to imagine that the sexual double standard has been erased, the truth is that, for most men, it is alive and well.
In fact, men can have sex with the same women every week for months and never like her one bit more. The ancient hunter/gatherer fear that a sexual woman might knock him out of evolution’s chain by putting him in the losing position of having to raise another man’s offspring, is hard-wired in most men.